Rocket Ride/Transcript
Sponge Bob: Hey, Sandy. Hey, Sandy. Hey, Sandy! knocking on her entrance, a space shuttle comes up from underneath the ground at the left side of the tree dome Holy balls! peeks her face out of a space shuttle window * Sandy: Howdy, Sponge Bob, how do you like it? * Sponge Bob: What the hell is it? * Sandy: It is a star ship, dumb ass! I will meet you downstairs and show you around. * Robert Jacob: inside ''Yeah, no sh*t, Sherlock. * '''Sponge Bob:' rides a lift on the bottom floor and meets Sponge Bob downstairs Wow, what are you gonna do with this gigantic white dick? * Sandy: to a poster of a crescent moon I am going to the moon, mother-! * Sponge Bob: The moon! Can I go? * Sandy: No way, Jose. Not after you put your penis in my whirlybird. Bob cringes Besides, there is no damn room for you. * Sponge Bob: But I do not take up much sh*t! himself into a little square See? himself to fit into a little drawer I can fit in here. the drawer Mm, cozy. * Sandy: I need that drawer, besides I meant these humans coming with. * Sponge Bob: Well, how about... into a test tube This? into another test tube Or this? into another test tube Or this? * Sandy: Sponge Bob, this is not for fun. her clipboard with math equations on it See this? This is science. I do not have time for games and I do not have time for any more stowaways. Bob is behind a set of poles * Sponge Bob: Okay. voice Put me in the frigate, I do not mind! * Sandy: That is the heating vent, Sponge Bob. a [[button] to turn the heat duct on that blows Sponge Bob out of it] I need that, too, dammit! * Sponge Bob: Oh, please, can I go? Can I? Can I? Huh? Please? * Sandy: All right. You all can ride in the cargo hold if you... * Sponge Bob: around the ship Yeah! Going to the moon! Moon ride! Moon ride! Moon ride! * Sandy: Sponge Bob But this time, do not touch this sh*t, okay, sugar**ts? to Sandy pumping a handgun and Sponge Bob comes to watch her * Sponge Bob: Wow, look at that cork gun. Are we gonna go hunting visitors on the moon? * Sandy: Aw, hush, quick ass. her firearm and 3 gray nets cover a corpse impaled by a knife This is for catching Mutant Jellyfish. * Sponge Bob: Well, when you are done catching Jellyfish, you could use that for serious alien poaching. * [[Robert Jacob|'Robert Jacob']]: I like this talking slice of Gouda. He is weird. * Sandy: Aliens? You crack ass! I have been to the moon, there are no aliens. * Sponge Bob: Sandy, Sandy, Sandy. How could you be so naive? There is evidence all around us. How do you explain Atlantis, cow licks, gift shops? around and forms a circle around him and Sandy with his shoes And how about those mysterious circles that pop up in kelp fields over night? a circle Ah! There is one now! * [[Terrence Jacob|'Terrence Jacob']]: '''Hmm... maybe this is what happens when you have a bunch of holes in your head. * '''Sandy: Sponge Bob, you do not know jack sh*t about outer space. Now go to your Pineapple and die. Be here tomorrow at the crack of dawn- and leave those crazy alien notions behind. * [[Robert Jacob|'Robert Jacob']]: OR THE CRACK OF HER BUTT! down laughing * Sponge Bob: then wakes up. Checks the clock every second Oh, hurry up! two clothes pins and puts them on his eyelids These ought to do the trick. * Patrick: in the window Hiya, Sponge Bob! pins shoot off his eyeballs and into his balls * Sponge Bob: What is it, Patrick? Can you NOT see I am sleeping here? * Patrick: Ow! Well, I know you are going on that moon trip tomorrow, so I wanted to bring you something. * Sponge Bob: A present? * Patrick: No. Uh, Sponge Bob, is Sandy's rocket alien proof? * Sponge Bob: There are no aliens, Patrick. Ask Sandy. * Patrick: a spray can Well, I guess you will not be needing this extraterrestrial repellent! * Sponge Bob: Alien repellent? Let me see that. at the can New Alien-Out Window Protection. Does not stop your grave robber. Well, I guess you are right, Patrick. We had better go spray those windows! Bob and Patrick walk up to the rocket * Patrick: Look how great it is, Sponge Bob! * Sponge Bob: It is very impressive, all right. * Patrick: Come on! head for the rocket * Sponge Bob: We are here to spray the windows, Patrick! * Patrick: Wow. How do you think we get inside? a level that says "open" * Sponge Bob: We do not, we are spraying the... opens on Sponge Bob ...windows. * [[Robert Jacob|'Robert Jacob']]: I WAS NOT MASTURBATING BY THE WAY! * Patrick: I opened it, Sponge Bob! Come on! walk inside Holy sh*t, Sponge Bob. This must be the control room. * Sponge Bob: Yeah, Do not touch anything. plays with everything * Patrick: Look, I won! * Sponge Bob: Patrick, cut that out! Patrick, come on, we cannot hang around like a couple of bodies on nooses. This is Sandy's big rocket, not an F'in fun... Bob turns around and looks at himself as skinny in the mirror...house? * Patrick: Woo-ho! Champ! Yeah! High score! * [[Terrence Jacob|'Terrence Jacob']]: Luck little bast*rd. * Sponge Bob: Hey, Patrick, what game was that, anyway? * [[Tyler Jacob|'Tyler Jacob']]: ''Mocking The Walking Dead: Survival Instinct. * '''Patrick:' Yuck, sorry for asking! a lever above his face But let us see what this does! * Sponge Bob: Patrick, We should not... pulls a lever and the two launch off the seat out of the rocket * Patrick: I love rockets. fall back into the rocket * Patrick: More! More! * Sponge Bob: No more! presses a [[button] and both shake a lot then stop] Okay, one more. again Okay, that is enough. Let us go, if we do this any more, we will cum all over here. * Patrick: Oh, wait, I think this one starts it. Bob stops Patrick from pressing a button * [[Robert Jacob|'Robert Jacob']]:' Starfish, what are you doing? I am the space traveler here and I know that that particular button is right over here. ''the motor button and the ship blasts off * '''Patrick: We have started the rocket! * Sandy: the smoke Oh, Sponge Bob... Bob and Patrick hold onto each other while the ship is taking off * [[Terrence Jacob|'Terrence Jacob']]: Look, um, Robert kinda started this thing... * Patrick: Hold on, buddy! screaming, Sponge Bob and Patrick fall down to the bottom of the ship. The ship enters the starts and both of them hover Hey, we stopped falling! * Sponge Bob: Look! at the dark constellation We are in space now! Whee! hover around * Patrick: Hey! Whoa! Somebody get me down, or up, or something! [Tyler Jacob laughs as the ship is going around the moon] Hey, Sponge Bob, watch this! toothpaste into peanut butter * Sponge Bob: Hey! You got your toothpaste in my peanut butter! Bob lifts a heavy weight Patrick, I can do this! ship lands back into a large body of water and the heavy weight hurls into the ground and flattens Sponge Bob's fingers * Patrick: Hey, who turned the heavy back on? * Sponge Bob: We must have landed. * Patrick: All right! uses her rocket pack to fly up to the moon * Sandy: That Sponge Bob is stupider than a bag of cat food. ship is now in Bikini Bottom. While Sandy searches for Sponge Bob and Patrick on the moon, everyone gets out of the ship * Patrick: Wow, it sure looks a lot like home. sees Gary asleep Hey, look, it is Gary! * Sponge Bob: Wait, do not touch it, Patrick! Can you see this is all a trick? The grays are projecting our memories onto the environment! They are confusing us, Patrick. * [[Robert Jacob|'Robert Jacob']]:''' So you mean to say they have taken what we thought we think and make us think we thought our thoughts we have been thinking our thoughts we think we thought? I think my brain died. * '''Sponge Bob: Yes, but I am not gonna to fall for it! Bob captures Gary with a gray net Yeah! * Patrick: You got him, Sponge Bob! Will Sandy be proud. * Sponge Bob: Sandy. I forgot about her. She is gonna kill us for stealing her rocket. But she will feel like a douche bag when I bring home a real live extraterrestrial! Aw, she will love me! Gary Come on, Patrick, the more, the merrier! Gary into the ship. Ship's number increases from 00 to 01; ding from "The Price Is Right" * Patrick: Alien hunting! Alien hunting! * Sponge Bob: Shh, quiet, Patrick, do not let them know we are onto them! Uh, yeah, alien hunting. I saw that on television, too. Jesus Patrick, let us drop in on our old pal Squid Ward and see what he is up to. to Patrick Make sure your sidearm is pumped. in and see Squid Ward tired Look at it, Patrick, it is gross. Ward moves his arms and legs around then puts them back down It is even more homely up close. Let us start the analysis. Bob takes the covers off * [[Terrence Jacob|'Terrence Jacob']]:' Wait, what in Christ's name is that? ''Bob takes a crimson sack out from underneath Squid Ward. It is covered in semen I think I am gonna be sick up on Squid Ward * '''Sponge Bob: Patrick, do you know what this thing is? * Patrick: Smelly. * Sponge Bob: No, it is an egg sack! Let us look at the embryo. puts flashlight under the egg sack and Sponge Bob's hands are under it * Sponge Bob and Patrick: Clones. Ward rolls over in his sleep and his right tentacle sticks on Patrick's helmet * [[Tyler Jacob|'Tyler Jacob']]:' Pardon my French but get this p***y off me! ''Bob and Patrick get his tentacles off but they also wake him up * '''Squid Ward: Patrick and Sponge Bob? Get the hell out of my bedroom! And give me back my tentacles! * Patrick: It is awake! * Sponge Bob: Let us capture the little phony! Ward screams * Squid Ward: Get away from me! away while Sponge Bob and Patrick capture him. Outside, [[Count Lionel] walks up with his pet night crawler and notices Squid Ward's house shaking. Sponge Bob and Patrick come out with Squid Ward captured] * [[Count Lionel|'Count Lionel']]:' Wuss popping B, boys! Up pretty late to be playing buccaneer, are you not? ''Sponge Bob and Patrick points their long range pistols at his chest Wait! Do not shoot. Fine, fine, shoot me, I am invincible, any who! * '''Sponge Bob: We do not need you dead, moon man! capture [[Count Lionel] and toss him and Squid Ward into the ship] Look at them squirming around in there. * Patrick: Yucky, icky. * Sponge Bob: Well, there is plenty more where those came from. Boating School * Mrs. Puff: her pupils' paper Sponge Bob, what the fudge are you doing here so late? captured ''Whatever this is... ''herself and has a deep voice ...it is going on your permanent record! a woman, and Larry are captured along with all of Bikini Bottom. Sponge Bob and Patrick run out of room in the ship for everyone * [[Robert Jacob|'Robert Jacob']]:''' Sponge Bob, I think we will need to make a second trip. * '''Sponge Bob: There is no time for that! Shove harder. is on her rocket belt hovering down * Sandy: Sponge Bob, what the F are you all doing? I cannot turn my back on you for two seconds without you causing a whole mess of trouble. Why look at ya, bagging up all your bitches and neighbors like they were fresh wheat of hickory smoked mutton. You damned turned my little science experiment into a disaster. You two ought to be should be ashamed of... Bob and Patrick capture her * [[Terrence Jacob|'Terrence Jacob']]: Whispering ''Is she always this stupid? * '''Sponge Bob:' Nice try, Sandy. * Patrick: Or should I say Ms. Extraterrestrial. laughs * Sandy: Extraterrestrials? Is that what this is about? Bob and Patrick throw her into the ship This is not the moon! We are still in Bikini Bot-- is slammed shut * [[Terrence Jacob|'Terrence Jacob']]:' It goes to show you: you cannot trust anyone. ''stare at each other and pump their guns So, you were a grey extraterrestrial all the time and you did not even tell me! * '''Patrick: I did not even know! * [[Terrence Jacob|'Terrence Jacob']]:''' Yeah? Well, I got you now. * '''Patrick: Oh, but it is not you that is got me, it is... catches himself and Terrence with the gray netting ...me that has got me! * Sponge Bob: Damn, I cannot wait to see the look on Sandy's face when she sees this! runs out of fuel and stops on [[Robert's Abode]] Sandy, I am back! out the window Wow, Bikini Bottom sure looks different. the sea Oh sh*t... * Everyone else: Sponge Bob, we "aliens" would love to have a word with you! Category:Transcripts